Brief and spoiler-free thoughts on Endgame, the finale of the first MCU Avengers team

First and foremost, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Much of the setting work and reflection was amazing. The marriage of reflection, fan service and resolution is delicious. I think the script writers came at this movie from exactly the correct angle, and all criticisms to follow relate to semantics and development. The plot and payoff is cinematic excellence, even if the screenplay itself is not.

I have two major problems with the actual screenplay. First is the handling of Black Widow. While I think everything they did resonated with the character and was true to the writing and development invested, I don't think the circumstances surrounding the plot choices were correct. The thing that irked me most was the capitulation to the current trend of removing initiative from male leads and transferring it to female leads. I am sure for some people this makes me appear sexist and I'll just have to make my peace with that. Anyone who has bothered to get to know me and the story I've been writing for twenty-seven years, should know sincerely that I value the female initiator and adore stories of feminine strength. And I do for deeply personal reasons.

Second is the muddled mishandling of time travel as a concept. With some non-committal hand-waving at time travel being paradoxically confusing, the writers proceed to present their audience with a hypothesis of rules before completely breaking all of them with no discernibly predictable result. Whether this is because they really want time travel to be a mystery and there is some background cannon to the functions of it or (far more likely) they simply don't want to explain their choices and prefer to use time travel as a McGuffin of the highest order, the temporal narrative is self-contradictory at each turn. This requires the audience to either rest comfortably in accepting confusion or to disengage critical thought. It's annoying, but it certainly doesn't ruin the story.

In summary, this was not a perfect film, yet it was intensely enjoyable. I highly recommend it.

What is this?

Samsung Evo 960 M.2 2280  250GB

5 second cold boot to Windows 10 Professional.

I thought SATA SSD drives were as fast as could be needed. This M.2 blows that away.

That feeling

When you realize God gave you exactly what you asked for but you didn't even notice because you were too busy complaining and feeling frustrated because you've assumed you wouldn't get what you asked for because it didn't really come from a place of righteousness

Praise 2

Praise to the Lord who is the source of all creativity
Praise to Him that my writing has not become what I wanted
In my youth I had cried out to my God in covenant over my storytelling efforts
I bound myself with the promise I should not write for personal gain
I begged the Lord that if He should bless my efforts then I would make obedience my prize
Because He mercifully veiled the full cost of such wisdom, I held wisdom in my ignorant heart
In honesty and in truthfulness, I was spared guile so I could worship Him
For if He had cleansed my ignorance then my heart would have soured with fear
Only because of His mercy and wisdom was I able to make such a wise covenant
Praise to the Lord who is the source of all creativity

Praise to the Lord of unfailing love
Praise to Him that my writing has not become what I wanted
When I was disappointed by success, He renewed our covenant
When I was frustrated by my disappointment, He renewed our covenant
When I was angered by my frustration, He renewed our covenant
When I was disobedient in my anger, He renewed our covenant
Praise to Him that my writing has not become what I wanted
By His faithfulness I can learn humility
By His faithfulness I can learn obedience
By His faithfulness I can reclaim wisdom I never understood
By His faithfulness I can be His servant
Praise to Him that my writing has not become what I wanted
Praise to the Lord of unfailing love

Praise to the Lord who is the author of our sustenance
Praise to Him that my writing has not become what I wanted
In my ignorance, I would turn worship into bread
In His grace, my needs have been provided
In my selfishness, I would spurn worship for sin
In His mercy, I can still enter His presence
Praise to Him that my writing has not become what I wanted
Praise to the Lord who is the author of our sustenance

Praise 1

Praise to the Lord who created everything.
When I deserve sorrow, He has given me joy.
When I deserve deprivation, He has given me wealth.
When I deserve retribution, He has given me grace.
When I have brought conflict upon myself, He has given me peace.
While I have celebrated my ignorance, He has granted me wisdom.
While I have lived in baseless pride, He has held me securely in His hand.
Praise to the Lord who created everything.
His mercy is unfathomable.
His patience is baffling.
Though I deserve the harshest discipline, He shows gentle restraint.
Though I quaver at the thought of my due, He grants me love.
Praise to the Lord who created everything.
I have nothing to offer to Him.
I will always have nothing to offer to Him.
He gives my existence meaning.
Praise to the Lord who created everything.

For the record

For my birthday, I received all of the tech gadgets I lusted after most. This is no small feat, considering the cost of these items. Happily, now, I am sitting with my new Razer BlackWidow keyboard, typing away and clicking gleefully on my new Razer Taipan mouse, which is much more comfortable to my hand than my previous Razer Lachesis ever managed to be. When I have a chance to play a long distance game with friends, I will also now be able to use my Razer Kraken headset to finally skype or teamspeak or whatever with ease and comfort. Each of these items is just as wonderful and convenient as I had hoped all along.

Also, I didn't really expect to receive any of these things, but through a collaboration of kindness from my mother-and-father-in-law and the unexpected generosity of one of my brothers coupled to the benevolence of my loving wife, I was able to afford both the Taipan and the Kraken (nevermind the debts we have left to pay off, they have no place in a birthday - don't tell Dave Ramsey that, though). My good friend Jerod dug deeply and unexpectedly to provide me with the BlackWidow, which is a gift I am still struggling to wrap my head around.

The technology I received shouldn't completely steal the day away, though. I did also receive possibly the world's best cordless drill from my own parents, which is a gift whose munificence rivals all of the technology gifts combined. The drill is especially exciting because in the next week or so it will see its first outing as the tool of choice for creating the new co-sleeper for our next child. I am very much looking forward to this experience.

My other brother gave a gift suited to my gaming proclivities, as he is often wont to do. But don't let that sound like a put-down. I don't really have anyone else who will dependably collaborate on my gaming excursions. His gift was greatly welcomed.

My wife, in addition to the money for new electronic toys, also has put herself out over the course of the past three weeks baking some of the most incredible food I've ever tasted. She also bought me quite a few cookies and cupcakes and the like, which I will always enjoy. And she got me some new pens. For those who know me, new pens are especially exciting.

Oh, and Jonathan and Blair Blycker provided a gift certificate to one of my favorite restaurants, which will be wonderful to use. I am also looking forward to that.

Thank you very much, everyone. I think I might have forgotten a gift or two. How embarrassing. I can only beg understanding for how hard it is to remember them all when so thoroughly inundated with love.

Thankful v12

I am thankful that, despite myself, I have a loving family and the means (for now) to feel like I am providing for them. God would provide regardless, this I know, but it is needlessly kind of Him to allow me this feeling.  His generosity, the more you ponder it, is truly astonishing. That we so often twist it to suit our foolish self-promotion is sad, but hardly detracts from the awesomeness of His grace.

Thankful v11

It has been along time since I deigned to put my thoughts to written word. Somewhat because my daily schedule has been drastically changed and somewhat because I prefer the mindlessness of entertaining pursuits to the rigor of pushing myself to be a better, more prolific, and more insightful writer.
I still haven't finished my book and I have grown steadily more disconnected from the concept of being a writer. I have fallen into the niceties of routine. I have a job which pays more than I can reasonably expect and, although it isn't enough to pay our bills I have found comfort in knowing I can't possibly do better. Feeling like I am doing everything I can is a pleasant release from the relentless urge to accomplish which had previously driven my efforts at prose.
I don't want to abandon my story by any means, but since it doesn't fit into our hectic life any longer it feels relaxing to stop caring.
So today I am thankful for a job that is better than a person without any degree (like myself) could ever hope to get.

Thankful V10

When I look at my life and my person, I tend to only see a whole lot that is dirty and ugly. I am reminded today that I have been washed clean. I am thankful for it.

There was a time, not too long ago, when we collectively realized that the truth remained true regardless of how many people understood it or believed it. We were concerned only with discovering the truth, knowing that it was the sole standard worth investing our lives into. Truth endures time and insult, imbuing our pursuit of it with lasting meaning; allowing us the opportunity to experience something bigger than we could ever be. We have collectively lost sight of this aim. We imagine truth is what we make it. We have bought the lie that we are gods capable of defining truth. As a result we live and die breathing only lies and fade into the infamy of pointlessness.

Thankful v9

I am thankful for the rain. I love the sound of it. I love the look of it. I love the feel of it. I love the smell of it. Rainy days make me feel alive. They jump-start the creative side of my brain. They fill the world with possibility. There's nothing quite like the feeling of a downpour. I am going to be thankful for the rain quite a lot. Mostly because I love it.

Thankful v8

I am thankful that I am a writer. I have been questioning whether or not I could be a writer, given the state of life and the demands it entails. Regardless of the answers to that questioning, what has been starkly clarified is that I am a writer, for better or worse. Any position or pastime which jeopardizes that fact will inevitably dissolve before the necessity of its self-propagation. At the end of the day, this is something I am incredibly thankful for.

Thankful v7

Today I am thankful for hot showers. They may not be able to fix back problems, but theuly certainly help to loosen up the muscles and allow for a slightly better outlook. Plus they are cozy. I wish I could take them more often.

Thankful v6

I am thankful for Redbox. I know it is a little silly, but being able to get new releases without cluttering up my Netflix queue is such a nice thing to have available. I think Redbox and Netflix compliment each other rather nicely. I have two Redbox movies in-hand currently and since this is my day off this week, I am glad I have them. That's what I am thankful for today.

Thankful v5

I am thankful for clothes that can actually fit.

Thankful v4

Today I am thankful that the day isn't over until midnight. Seriously, it feels like midnight right now. I am not sure how comfortable I am talking about the intimate details of my work today. Suffice it to say this project has kept me confined in front of a computer screen for long hours four days running. I was hoping to be done today, but my computer decided to shut itself down last night, making me lose six hours of work and forcing me to spend extra time sorting through the wreckage. I am still trying to get ahead for tomorrow. I incidentally already booked my computer for a different project, so it will be interesting to see how this works out. In summary, I am really happy there are officially three hours left in the day.

Thankful v3

I am thankful that I have internet access. I use it all the time. It is quite helpful.

Thankful

Today I am thankful for the rain. I love the rain. Sometimes I wish it could rain all year 'round. I love the pitter-pat of raindrops splashing into the ground. I love the liquidy bubbling of rainwater flowing to and fro with gravity. I love the overcast and oft ominous skies which accompany rain. I love the smell of rain - that earthy, tasty smell it puts into the air. I love the feel of its tiny wet pokes or misty spray. I even love the sensation of being pummeled by a relentless sheet of water cascading from overhead. I love pretty much everything about rain and if I had more time to write this, I would wax eloquent about as many of its facets as I could think of. Alas, I must away. I have windows to gaze out of, wife held tightly in my arms, watching the falling wonder wash our world in the twilight.

Hard to be thankful.

Life seems to preclude thankfulness. There is a sense of struggle even to our day-to-day activities. The thinker in me wants everything to be elegant and simple. It wants to find the easy and efficient route and it is frustrated when this route is closed or otherwise inaccessible. However, the reasoning part of me also knows that God is in control and provides us with everything we need. This means we should be nothing if not thankful.

It is not in my nature to talk about good things. I do not default to a positive state of mind. I am not an optimist. I don't see the bright side. I find it difficult to trust others. I have been trying to alter these truths throughout my life with very limited success. It occurs to me, though, that spending my time here talking exclusively about struggles and disappointments is just another example of living in hopelessness. So, I am going to do useful work instead. I am going to make an effort to daily talk about and revel in something I am and should be thankful for. No matter how insignificant that thing might be.

To that end, I am going to start off with something very small and unimportant. By way of disclaimer, I am purposely not starting with something of overwhelming value like Esther or Malachi because I believe if I do, then this exercise will devolve into an effort to top the last thing I said I was thankful for. I can't make this a competition because, while I am creative, I am not creative enough - or, rather, I am not motivated enough to continue under those constraints.

Today I am thankful for my drill. I've had a few drills over the years. My two previous drills were gifted to me by my dad. They were battery powered drills and they served us faithfully for a long time. But the drill I am thankful for today is not those drills. Those drills' batteries ran down and gave out over time. They stopped working. In fact, they would often stop working during a project, which proved especially frustrating. But when their batteries finally stopped taking any charge at all, I looked around for replacement batteries. These were difficult to find. And then, when I did find some, they were inordinately expensive. To the tune of $75/battery. I found that I could buy a corded drill for less than I could buy a replacement battery. So, I did a little research and bought a corded drill. Which I am thankful for.

My drill is trusty and strong. Perhaps a bit too strong, but this has taught me some finesse. It is always ready when I need to tackle a project. It allows me to get things done. Yesterday, it allowed me to finish the birthday present I was making for Esther. Without my trusty drill, I could never have made the present for her. In conclusion, I am thankful for my drill. I am happy to have it. God didn't need to let me have a working drill. He chose to. And I am thankful for it.